Two seats in this…

Another one of these…

And definitely some more of this…

Of course I am nowhere near that happy round smiling stage quite yet. Nope, I am announcing quite a bit too early, because today is day #1 of “Quality Time Spent Lying Down” and I would like to complain about it to someone. And since we are such dear friends, I thought it should be you. So, rewind just a minute and pretend it is New Year’s Eve again:

There we were, exhausted from moving, full of company and opening bottles of champagne to celebrate:

Craziness. Not even plates on the outlets. We had been trying (as I told you) for about four-ish? Five-ish? months and no luck, which was fine, as we were doing that crazy thing called moving with a toddler. So, right before we made the big move, I walked in to see my Doc and asked him for some of my usual- a cocktail we call Clomid. I am all about plans (despite spending two years getting pregnant last time) and figured it would take me about three cycles to get pregnant, like it did last time, and that would put us at say, March or April. Pleeeeenty of time to get settled into the new house before I revisited the bowels of hell that was my morning sickness with Ben. So he was nice enough to call me in a script, after reminding me that fourish fiveish months is really not that long, yada yada. And I was all running my mouth about last time and he went with it. Very nice of him. A week later, here we were, guzzling champagne, me at about week 3 of my cycle (which if you dont know, means I was a week off from my period and should not be feeling anything at all other than tired from moving).

About ten minutes after that photo was taken (although now that I look at it, maybe that very minute- and what is my hair doing? Poofalicious…) I started feeling really, really tired. Like, take a nap on cement if you have to, hate everything that makes noise or requires you to keep your eyes open tired. Uh oh. I know that feeling. Impossible! Feeling completely confident that I was just being crazy as usual, I trudged out to grab a test Sarah had given me that was still in my car. I mentioned to my sweet neighbor, who has two kids Ben’s age, that I was having those scary hallmark feelings, and she reminded me that my life was a bit exhausting all on it’s own. Aha! You’re right, I thought. My life is exhausting. I’m not pregnant. I took a test anyway, though. And I was as shocked as any of you, that a week after talking to my doctor, here we were, pregnant as anything, eau naturale.

Ben seems to be having an appropriate response: “WHAT’S THAT YOU SAY??!! ANOTHER BABY?!”

As scared as I was to actually begin this journey again, it’s all fine now that it’s happening. I’m glad to be feeling a little sick, because that means everything is progressing nicely. I flipped through photos in Ben’s baby book, and it turns out, we still have all the toys he needed. As we are moving, I am setting things aside- the diaper bag, the breastfeeding pillow, nursing tops. This is exactly the time I conceived Ben, two years ago, so I am expecting my due date to be right around his- which was September 10th. I am so excited about this, and ready, and deliriously happy. People have a lot of feelings about disclosing pregnancy, but they are usually so specific to their personal perspectives that it is impossible to please everybody. I want all my friends to know that I am feeling sick, but please come see me, I’m not contagious! I want them to understand when I need to back out of something unexpectedly, or why I just look so tired when they are talking to me. I want to celebrate starting now! Secrets just frustrate me and it seems so unnecessary in this case. I don’t have a job that I need to protect, or anything like that. As for miscarraige, I had one before Ben and as hard as it was to spread the news then, it is a whole different ball game this time around. I’m not as sensitive to the feelings of failure and loss I had back then. It’s not a universal truth or anything, but for me, I have Ben now and that really does help. Anyway, I will need support if that happens again, and this is the fastest way to get it, I figure. Plus it feels good to write these things out.

If you haven’t been by our new place, get in touch! I would love to have you over! Excuse the constant chaos and I may or may not have pajamas on, but I am excited to see everyone. Just yesterday we had a play date and my sweet friend Katy told me that the trees in my backyard have the same disease hers did. I never would have known! I am so very excited to do this all again. I love Ben so much and he is such a wonderful person, I can’t wait to meet the next addition to our family.

I feel a little better now and should really get some lunch in before Scott leaves for the course. My love to all of you and I hope you are all having a wonderful weekend!