Category Archives: top three

green-header-111.jpg

Top Three

Things You Still Don’t Know About Me.

Or… you may still not want to know about me, in which case, go ahead and click back over to TMZ.

We could talk all about you, really we could. But you’re not here. It’s just me and Self and Lord knows she is super narcissistic.

1.) I’m a Christmas music fanatic.

I sometimes find myself humming carols in June. I don’t mind it either, not even a little. The #1, absolute best, blows everything else out of the water Christmas album? Mariah Carey. Girl may be a little crazy, but that album is a classic. It doesn’t even sound like 1993, which is really incredible considering that you could pick out anything made in 93 in the first few beats. And if it didn’t have a saxophone solo (thank you Gaga, for making that cool again) then it had the whispery dude solo. Don’t get me wrong, I am alllll about nineties music, but the whispery guy talking during the bridge- it never worked. Not ever. I can’t thank Mariah enough for deciding not to go with the whispery dude in the middle of All I Want for Christmas is You. Pretty sure a producer somewhere would have been into that.

2.) I am super competitive and don’t like it.

I really hate playing games in general because I get super mad if I don’t win. It’s totally nuts. The only person I can play with is, surprise surprise, my sister. I don’t know how she has tolerated me in years past, but she does. It was also easier when she was seven and would lose all the time. She was the only person aware of this little issue until Scott finally uncovered it somewhere in our third year together. I told you, I avoid playing games. Then the fun stuff started coming out- the Wii and we got a Playstation, and well… it’s not pretty. I am doing all right with my little iPhone games, although sometimes I will play some stupid word for 3 points when I get frustrated and then that’s not pretty either. But it’s okay because you all can’t see me.

3.) I rarely sleep in, but I will lay in bed all day.

My answer to anything is to stay in bed. Sick? Lay in bed. Depressed? Lay in bed. On vacation? Lay in bed. I have read for five hours straight, watched every single episode of shows that span seven years, but I can’t sleep. I don’t fall asleep watching anything. I don’t nap unless I am practically on my death bed (or just had a baby that’ll do it), and I really can’t sleep past eight. Unless I have stayed out well past midnight and that hasn’t happened in years. Scott sleeps. Steph sleeps. These kids can fall asleep at any time for any reason. I just want a book or a movie. Of course these days are harder to come by lately. Really, though, I am a professional at being lazy and will blow some very active minds by the amount of time I can be perfectly satisfied by remaining horizontal.

 

First Impressions

Over the years, thanks to some open and direct friends, I hear that I make some consistent impressions on people. First impressions that I am not trying to make. This came up over drinks with a friend of mine, with whom I think it’s fun to dissect these sorts of things with, and I thought I would elaborate and share. I don’t try to avoid these impressions at all, but I find it amusing that they keep popping up over the years, and how different people respond to me based on their concepts about these sort of things.

…At the risk of talking about myself for an entire post. Ahem.

Clearly it’s too late, however, as I have already been talking about myself for half a page and may as well continue.

1.) Too “Nice”

I actually like this one, even though it can be a real negative for people who interperet it a certain way. I like it because I am trying to be nice. But usually it arouses suspicion of some kind. This suspicion goes one of two ways:

a) I am being fake, and getting all my meanness out somewhere else, or

b) I am shallow, and don’t have much to be mean about because I don’t know any better.

I find both of these hilarious because like 99% of people stick around and figure out that I am just nice because I like people. I am aware that they can be total nutso sociopaths, but most people I really like. I don’t always see crazy coming right away, but I won’t be the person who tries to convince you that everyone is secretly just in need of a warm plate of cookies and a Christmas sweater, either. Some people love their crazy and take it to bed with them at night like a teddy bear. See? I’m not all that sane, either. I say things like that. Just keepin’ it real.

I’ve always been this way, so I am thoroughly used to it. I have had people that think I am flirting with them, which is severely awkward. I’m not flirting, I’m just smiling, laughing and being nice!  Oh, there is a distant c), sometimes a subset of a) or b) in which some people think I am a push-over. Not that they want to actually push me over, but it makes them think they won’t respect me and I will make them nuts with my endless efforts to be agreeable and the occasional martyrdom here and there. Oh, if only I always had my little team of people present to make it oh-so-clear that I could use a little more agreeable in my life and less push-everyone-around-ness. I will try not to push you around and argue with you. But it takes a bit of effort because I am so right all the time.

2.) I Have So Many Friends and So Little Time

This one is uber-flattering, not gonna lie. I hope everyone hears this from people. That being said…It’s not really true. I’ve been laying around the house barely seeing anyone for weeks. You know, the holiday, and you get sick and then things just stay quiet for awhile. I know, I should have blogged, but I’ve been so boring, seriously. I’m boring now, aren’t I? And I am really trying here! I just keep waiting for the blankety blank house to close already. Hand perpetually poised over the “Place Order” button for our Christmas cards, that have our new address on them. The address that we don’t technically own yet. Waiting to get sample paint, for the walls that we don’t technically own yet. Waiting to call out a carpet guy… you get the picture. But the point is, I am not very busy unless I try to be. There are some weeks where I have a playdate every day and then yes, I feel all Mean Girls popular, like we all wear pink on Wednesdays. Typically, though, everyone else is trying to keep up and fit everything in, and so being available on the same day is the hard part. In fact, if I see you around once a week, or even just try to see you once a week- we are best friends.

Most of my army of incredible, amazing friends live out of town, and getting out of town with Ben is a crapshoot. There are people out there (cough)JesseandNicole(cough) that I don’t even deserve. They keep on visiting us, making it easy on us. It’s harder to keep up with long distance friendships, but I want to, I really do. If I could talk to you all every day I would. That’s why I have this blog. Which is really, really not the same thing. Because here you just have to hear me talk about myself all darn day, and I don’t even ask about you. How are you, by the way? How was your day?

3.) Conservative Christian

I totally get where this comes from. I mean, I do like Tiffanys. I would dress like Charlotte from Sex and the City all the time, if I had a stylist to do the work for me. I love SITC. I like being comfortable, and often forget to wear make-up. I like sweater sets and pearls and stud earrings. That may be a part of it. I didn’t drink until college. I quit recently for about a year and a half, and now that I have a kid I very rarely get to swear anymore. Scott doesn’t like it anyway so I reserve it for when I want to annoy him. Or when my sister and I are ranting.

Now, I am a Christian. As in, I believe Jesus Christ is my savior. That’s it. This must have gotten out, thankfully, because I don’t receive many visits from missionaries on the weekends. I am reading the Bible (at a snail’s pace and I think that speed might be flattering myself a bit). That being said, I am not what most people would call conservative. First of all, my background isn’t crazy, but not all neat and tidy, either. I grew up in Santa Cruz, in a very liberal environment. I would call myself a feminist. I went to Chico State and did not stay out of trouble. I have made awful mistakes like being unfaithful and helping others be unfaithful. Would that I could, that would be the only thing I would really want to erase from existence.

I didn’t follow any religious guidelines as a young adult, and don’t now. I don’t go to a church on Sunday, but I am happy for my friends and family who have home churches where they feel a sense of belonging.  My politics are liberal, my ideas about not only tolerance but embracing our differences, allowing people the freedom to choose their own paths. I love a great many people who would identify with being conservative and I don’t think they are wrong. There are people that I love who are very liberal, some atheist, and many who just so happen to be gay, and I don’t think they are wrong, necessarily. I think all of them are wrong sometimes, about some things, but that’s okay. They probably think I’m wrong sometimes. Maybe a lot. They may be right, but I don’t think either of us should change just because the other disagrees. I also read racy romance novels and believe that most adult movies should have a decent steamy scene toward the middle. That’s why the only movies you rent with your parents should be rated PG.

Anyway, what a rant! Rant, rant, rant. It must be because I really don’t want to start packing. That’s generally when I start getting really good at expanding on conversations based on no subject. Hm, what can I do besides boring packing? Rant on my blog. Done. Check that off my list.

Pin It
2011_07_22-164247

Top Three… or Making Weird BAH Sounds and Hitting Stuff

 

Okay, so apparently my last post, about my day on Wednesday, was foreshadowing… I was momentarily annoyed with someone- not you, Internet. Trust me, trust me. It’s impossible for it to be you. The rest of that day, and Thursday was fine, and then suddenly this morning I am in the foulest mood to ever walk the earth. So I thought I would rant. Why? Because I want to. So THERE. What? Did you just call me FAT?  Yes, that kind of mood.

Tippy tip top of the iceberg of top three things that bug me today. Not because they happened today, just because they BUG me.

1. When people single other people out on their status updates, but pretend they want that person to remain anonymous.

As in, “People… who have cats and drive cars can be SO. FREAKING. LAME sometimes. Especially when they pretend like they know everything and you have to smile and pretend like you don’t want to slap them.”

So that, predictably, everyone they know freaks out that it might be them. Then they get annoyed by that. And that’s when I… get annoyed… by them. It’s fine if following this, they say, “oh, sorry- it was my landlord! I mean, ugh!!” then they are absolved. But if they respond more like, “I don’t want to talk about it, guys, I just hate people that have cats and drive cars- stop like, freaking out *eye roll*” Then cue my eye roll.

A subset of this type of infuriating thing are the “I can’t believe that just happened. That was terrible.” updates. And then, of course, you see the trail of, “What? What happened? Are you okay?” comments. Just. So. Predictable. Of course people are going to be concerned, of course people want to know. If you just want to share an emotion with the Internet, that’s fine, but expect the Internet to have questions. Expect the Internet to feel unreasonably self-conscious. I mean, we all know Internet. He’s totally the type to freak out about that stuff. So don’t act surprised. This is hilariously close to what I did in my last post. So, I’m not saying not to do it, I’m just saying- don’t feign shock when Internet wants to know what the heck you’re talking about. The Internet could give a sugar cube about what I’m talking about, so I can’t really relate, but still. Take my advice because it’s unsolicited and you love it.

Things people said to help me out of my funk

1. Listen to some 90s R&B

Such a good suggestion.

2. Dial a friend

Totally will, the only friend who really needs to handle this sleeps til nearly eleven though so I am white knuckling it until 9:30am when I will just wake her up. Poor thing. Hope she is having good dreams.

3. At least I’m not at work and one of her coworkers just walked by her cube and farted.

That gets the award for Most Helpful So Far.

Things that bug me continued…

2. When I’m expected to be perfect.

When the people who expect me to be perfect are constantly ranting about how they should be accepted imperfections and all. I can yell at you but you can’t yell at me. I can dish it but don’t want to take it. Not that I am really surprised by the can’t-take-it-part. Nobody can take what you’re dishing out, either, buddy.

3. When you’re trying to listen to 90s R&B on Pandora and your husband HID THE REMOTE ON PURPOSE. BAH! *Hits Something*

 

 

Pin It